Back in Norway

Hello friends and family,
Just a quick post to let you know I made it safely back to Norway.
love,
Matisse

Life looks like..

Life for me currently looks like:

 learning that it’s okay. I’m 19. I’m learning to breathe. Learning who I am and what I like. What things I don’t like.
It looks like not freaking out when I realize that I now am responsible for myself.
It’s being okay with living by cliche quotes like “ Don’t compare you’re beginning to someone else’s middle or end.” Because it’s so much easier to do that than sit back and realize you know what that’s so true. I am just me and they are them and that’s totally fine. I’m learning to sit back and let “Jesus take the wheel” because I trust Him driving even though sometimes I get nervous because I don’t know what’s around the next turn.
I’m learning to be kind to myself because 19 is a time to dream big dreams even if they sound crazy to everyone even myself sometimes. To be kind to myself because He will bring everything into place into it’s own time and I don’t need to spend time stressing about anything.
Life looks like getting text messages from friends and realizing how dear they are to me but also how badly my heart is hurting missing them.
It looks like having a good friend lend me coverup, having another good friend point out that there are patches of color all over my face that are 5 shades too dark, and then another friend providing a wet wipe because I was sitting on a bus when they finally noticed it because the hotel lighting was good at camouflaging it.
Life looks like learning to laugh at myself because there really is no other way to go.
Life looks like laying in bed at night and then getting really homesick and falling to sleep listening to George Straight.
It looks like eating lots of ice cream cones and enjoying good rice noodles.
Life looks like listening to happy music while getting ready in the morning or after busy days it looks like hiding in the bathroom listening to music (current favorite “ShutUp and Dance” by walk the moon) and having secret dance parties all by myself.
 It looks like putting on some makeup on days when I don’t feel pretty because sometimes I just need that extra boost of confidence. At the same time it looks like going days without makeup because that’s great too plus I can rub my eyes and not look like a raccoon.
Life looks like listening to lots of Les Mis and enjoying painting my nails teal sometimes or other times like right now, lavender.
It looks like sleeping on a little mat on hotel room floors and learning how to wash clothes in the sink or shower.
It’s being super thankful for a shower with good water pressure and a heater that works.
It’s listening to sermons and TED talks about leadership,dreaming big dreams, and changing the world and getting stoked about all the potential here and all the possibilities that the future holds.
Life looks like being encouraged and inspired by other people all over the world through instagram and reading their stories about how they’re making a difference and loving people.
It looks like realizing everyone is getting engaged and being so excited and also overwhelmed by how fast life happens.
Life looks like learning what it means to patiently wait but also be preparing for what is to come. To expect exciting things to come and for life to get better and better.
It looks like learning about capacity and stewardship over what I’ve been given and what I will be given in the future.
Life looks like learning not to stay up too late thinking about what and how I want to write blog posts or what I’m going to say if I get the chance to speak about things I love. It also looks like actually taking time to write blogs or take quick notes when thoughts pop into my head. I’m learning to journal and write lots of letters to God.
Life looks like having a mini freak out when I went outside for one hour and got sun burned because my skin is currently around the same shade as a piece of paper when it was “medium/dark” tone this summer *tear* I miss West Texas sun and daily soccer practice/lifeguarding.
 Life looks like learning how to live with people who I love dearly but are completely the opposite of me ( good practice for marriage haha ) It’s learning how sometimes I just have to let things go because it’s not really that big of a deal and then other times it looks like learning to stand up for myself and set up boundaries because I don’t have to please everyone. It looks like putting those around me first or asking for forgiveness when I don’t. It looks like learning to listen a lot more than speak and really hearing people.
Life looks like learning to believe the highest about the people I’m living life with and being bold enough to speak out when something is really bothering me.
Life looks like running to Jesus for everything. Talking to Him about every little tiny detail and worry and joy and exciting thing. It’s learning how to walk into a deeper relationship with Him everyday because love is a choice. But it’s thrilling and challenging at the same time. So much of me wants to do other things rather than spend time in the word or journal but He is so so good and constant and patient. I listened to a sermon the other day and the speaker talked about how when you’re in love with someone, I mean really truly deeply in love with a person, you will be willing to sacrifice everything to be with them no matter what it was. He said just how nothing is too much of a sacrifice for two people in love that’s how we as Christians should see our relationship with Jesus. How no matter what He asks us to do or where He asks me to go He is worth it. He is so much better than anything else. Nothing can compare. I love this picture. So many times people have asked how I feel about everything I’ve given up to be where I am doing what I’m doing, giving up precious time with my family, missing events, missing out on watching my siblings grow up, not being there for friends during tough times because I’m on a different continent and it’s 3am in the morning when they need to talk, or missing out on just the typical american college/dating experience. I do miss my family&friends and love the opportunities when I get to see them but nothing compares to Jesus. Everything is completely pointless and a waste of time without Him. None of this is sacrifice when I look at Him. I would rather be here doing what I’m doing in the will of God than anywhere else in the entire world. Aaah It’s just so exciting to me and such a privilege to be able to spend the rest of my life loving people and loving God. I think one of my favorite things was by Marguerite Porete when she said something like - when you love Jesus nothing is work anymore. For the rest of your life everything you do, every breath you breathe, can be an act of love for Him. How awesome is that!!! It’s like this huge adventure and I just get to be a part of it. A huge symphony that I get to play my note in. Everyday definitely isn’t easy, most days harder than just a chill ride but He is constantly modeling and melting me down and shaping me into the best version of myself and I don’t have to worry about failing or succeeding I just need to obey, love, and focus on Him. Everything will come and the only thing that matters is focusing on Jesus. Yay God.
Thank you guys all for your prayers and support.
love love love, Matisse