Back in Norway

Hello friends and family,
Just a quick post to let you know I made it safely back to Norway.
love,
Matisse

Life looks like..

Life for me currently looks like:

 learning that it’s okay. I’m 19. I’m learning to breathe. Learning who I am and what I like. What things I don’t like.
It looks like not freaking out when I realize that I now am responsible for myself.
It’s being okay with living by cliche quotes like “ Don’t compare you’re beginning to someone else’s middle or end.” Because it’s so much easier to do that than sit back and realize you know what that’s so true. I am just me and they are them and that’s totally fine. I’m learning to sit back and let “Jesus take the wheel” because I trust Him driving even though sometimes I get nervous because I don’t know what’s around the next turn.
I’m learning to be kind to myself because 19 is a time to dream big dreams even if they sound crazy to everyone even myself sometimes. To be kind to myself because He will bring everything into place into it’s own time and I don’t need to spend time stressing about anything.
Life looks like getting text messages from friends and realizing how dear they are to me but also how badly my heart is hurting missing them.
It looks like having a good friend lend me coverup, having another good friend point out that there are patches of color all over my face that are 5 shades too dark, and then another friend providing a wet wipe because I was sitting on a bus when they finally noticed it because the hotel lighting was good at camouflaging it.
Life looks like learning to laugh at myself because there really is no other way to go.
Life looks like laying in bed at night and then getting really homesick and falling to sleep listening to George Straight.
It looks like eating lots of ice cream cones and enjoying good rice noodles.
Life looks like listening to happy music while getting ready in the morning or after busy days it looks like hiding in the bathroom listening to music (current favorite “ShutUp and Dance” by walk the moon) and having secret dance parties all by myself.
 It looks like putting on some makeup on days when I don’t feel pretty because sometimes I just need that extra boost of confidence. At the same time it looks like going days without makeup because that’s great too plus I can rub my eyes and not look like a raccoon.
Life looks like listening to lots of Les Mis and enjoying painting my nails teal sometimes or other times like right now, lavender.
It looks like sleeping on a little mat on hotel room floors and learning how to wash clothes in the sink or shower.
It’s being super thankful for a shower with good water pressure and a heater that works.
It’s listening to sermons and TED talks about leadership,dreaming big dreams, and changing the world and getting stoked about all the potential here and all the possibilities that the future holds.
Life looks like being encouraged and inspired by other people all over the world through instagram and reading their stories about how they’re making a difference and loving people.
It looks like realizing everyone is getting engaged and being so excited and also overwhelmed by how fast life happens.
Life looks like learning what it means to patiently wait but also be preparing for what is to come. To expect exciting things to come and for life to get better and better.
It looks like learning about capacity and stewardship over what I’ve been given and what I will be given in the future.
Life looks like learning not to stay up too late thinking about what and how I want to write blog posts or what I’m going to say if I get the chance to speak about things I love. It also looks like actually taking time to write blogs or take quick notes when thoughts pop into my head. I’m learning to journal and write lots of letters to God.
Life looks like having a mini freak out when I went outside for one hour and got sun burned because my skin is currently around the same shade as a piece of paper when it was “medium/dark” tone this summer *tear* I miss West Texas sun and daily soccer practice/lifeguarding.
 Life looks like learning how to live with people who I love dearly but are completely the opposite of me ( good practice for marriage haha ) It’s learning how sometimes I just have to let things go because it’s not really that big of a deal and then other times it looks like learning to stand up for myself and set up boundaries because I don’t have to please everyone. It looks like putting those around me first or asking for forgiveness when I don’t. It looks like learning to listen a lot more than speak and really hearing people.
Life looks like learning to believe the highest about the people I’m living life with and being bold enough to speak out when something is really bothering me.
Life looks like running to Jesus for everything. Talking to Him about every little tiny detail and worry and joy and exciting thing. It’s learning how to walk into a deeper relationship with Him everyday because love is a choice. But it’s thrilling and challenging at the same time. So much of me wants to do other things rather than spend time in the word or journal but He is so so good and constant and patient. I listened to a sermon the other day and the speaker talked about how when you’re in love with someone, I mean really truly deeply in love with a person, you will be willing to sacrifice everything to be with them no matter what it was. He said just how nothing is too much of a sacrifice for two people in love that’s how we as Christians should see our relationship with Jesus. How no matter what He asks us to do or where He asks me to go He is worth it. He is so much better than anything else. Nothing can compare. I love this picture. So many times people have asked how I feel about everything I’ve given up to be where I am doing what I’m doing, giving up precious time with my family, missing events, missing out on watching my siblings grow up, not being there for friends during tough times because I’m on a different continent and it’s 3am in the morning when they need to talk, or missing out on just the typical american college/dating experience. I do miss my family&friends and love the opportunities when I get to see them but nothing compares to Jesus. Everything is completely pointless and a waste of time without Him. None of this is sacrifice when I look at Him. I would rather be here doing what I’m doing in the will of God than anywhere else in the entire world. Aaah It’s just so exciting to me and such a privilege to be able to spend the rest of my life loving people and loving God. I think one of my favorite things was by Marguerite Porete when she said something like - when you love Jesus nothing is work anymore. For the rest of your life everything you do, every breath you breathe, can be an act of love for Him. How awesome is that!!! It’s like this huge adventure and I just get to be a part of it. A huge symphony that I get to play my note in. Everyday definitely isn’t easy, most days harder than just a chill ride but He is constantly modeling and melting me down and shaping me into the best version of myself and I don’t have to worry about failing or succeeding I just need to obey, love, and focus on Him. Everything will come and the only thing that matters is focusing on Jesus. Yay God.
Thank you guys all for your prayers and support.
love love love, Matisse

Hello everyone,

I hope that you are all doing well. This blog post has a lot of random informations that probably is not interesting unless you’re my mother or are really bored. Any who enjoy!! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. All is well.

Blessings,

Matisse

 Fun facts:

I’m currently listening to Mozarts symphony no. 40 in G minor

my roommate is skyping her family

today I took a walk and while walking someone threw firecrackers out a window above me and I looked up to see the fireworks (dumb) and got something in my eye but after blinking a few times it came out! Yay God:) 

I really like pocky sticks. They’re kind of like pretzels covered in random yogurt flavors or other things. So far I’ve tried blueberry, strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, seaweed, and pizza. They’re great.

Tonight I tried some food in a restaurant in nanchang and it was great but I almost died because I ate a pepper on purpose (dumb) because I was trying to be cool and local and it resulted on my mouth being completely on fire for the rest of the meal and me crying a bit. For the most part the food here has been amazing. I love it all. The only thing I’m not a fan of is the fast food restaurants which don’t compare to the local food/family run places. So far I think my favorite has been shrimp dumplings, bok choy dishes, and these chocolate rolls. The weirdest thing I’ve eaten so far is maybe chicken feet skin, pig intestines, and frog legs.

I like sleeping in a hot room much more than a cold room despite my previous ideas on the matter. I’ve joined team hot is better than cold after spending a few sleepless nights from being too cold. 

I had some macaroni and cheese for the first time in 6 months and surprisingly didn’t really like it that much anymore which I suppose is good because it doesn’t exactly come in large supply here.

It’s raining outside

It’s 22:30 here or 10:30pm. Everything is military time which hasn’t been a bad transition it just takes me a few seconds to switch it in my head now! Yay!!

I’ve read so many good books since we got here. I think the hardest thing to leave in the states will be my library of paper/hardback books. Oh well se la vie 

I have been super blessed and haven’t gotten sick this whole trip.

There are cute little shops here with notebooks and pens and adorable silly little trinkets. I love everything but hate heavy suitcases.

Which leads me to fun fact #whichevernumberI’monnow I cannot stand heavy suitcases. Granted part of traveling = carrying around baggage but I’m learning "less is more" which actually applies to a lot of things  a.) makeup b.) hair product c.) junk food d.) luggage. I’m currently living out of a carry on and a backpack which the wolfpack has lovingly named Big Blue. Honestly it’d be nice to either work out and be able to carry more or live out of a small bag for the rest of my life. If only I was Hermione or Mary Poppins. 

I went to Walmart yesterday. It’s probably the last place I’d want to visit in other countries because so much of my life has been spent there already hah. I bought nail polish and was surprised that they only had around 7 colors to choose from so I got hot pink.

I really don’t like pink but sometimes it’s needed

I think my favorite color right now is plum or dark purplish mauve maybe. or blueberry or eggplant color

Eggs and beans are very poplar here.

We went to the park the other day and saw the cutest little birds in tiny wooden cages

At the park there was this huge replica of a ship and on the ship we played badminton 

Until just now I thought badminton was badmitton…. thank you autocorrect

Sometimes when I get homesick I play this SAT word app on my phone and it makes me feel better 

Also when I’m homesick I listen to country music or french music or the gypsy kings

Goodnews- I haven’t been terribly homesick since I passed the 6 months away from home mark. Apparently the hardest time is the 6 weeks then 6 months then 6 years when it comes to being homesick. I miss people tons but I love being here and doing what I’m doing.

One time I downloaded 10 hours of rain and thunder storms onto my iPod so I could sleep on a flight but then realized that I could have just done a 10 minute rainstorm and put it on repeat. I’m internally a blonde.

The people here are beautiful. I’ve made so many new friends. They’re amazing.

I read the book A Severe Mercy again and loved it just as much as I did the first time. I want to visit Oxford someday.

I’m exhausted now so I think I’ll go to sleep 

thankful for 

fireworks on Chinese New Year 

inspirational videos from soccer that I still watch and listen to because they’re inspiring. Thanks Coach E.

brilliant people who give book recommendations and good books that make me think about things and dream bigger dreams

learning so many new things about myself 

the foundation that I am able to stand on because of the things that I have lived through. I feel so privileged to be able to be here doing what I love. It’s challenging but it’s better than I could have even imagined.  and even if it wasn’t I’m learning that I’d much rather be in the will of God than any where else in this entire world.

a warm bed

xoxo-

Matisse

Happy New Year

Dear friends and family,

Happy New Year! It's 2015. How odd!! I really still can't believe that yet another year has gone by but I'm thrilled to see what God has in store for this year. I've loved being able to live in Norway. Christmas was white and all the trees were perfectly covered in layers of snow so they looked almost like ice covered coral in the ocean. Basically I feel like I'm living in this perfect snow globe which reminds me of the Pixar short..

any who besides living in a snow globe it also feels a bit like Narnia because everything is covered in snow and I keep thinking wow this looks just like pictures on christmas cards or like the fake perfectly manicured trees at hobby lobby but then I have to remind myself that all of those things came from this and not the other way around. Also, it's like the misty mountains because to me our base is surrounded by all these "mountains" that everyone here calls hills and before the mountains there's the huge lake and all the mist comes up from the lake and makes the mountains look huge every morning. It's lovely. 

Christmas here was so nice! I stayed at Laken's house. She's the person who told me about my school when I stopped and met her at her booth during a missions conference at Beltway in Oct. 2013. She lives here in Norway with her husband who's Norwegian. She's from the same town I'm from and we went to the same high school at different times and she's been a total life saver since I moved here. It's like having this super cool big sister that is okay with hanging out with you and giving you advice. She's one of the coolest people ever and her husband is awesome too. So anyways I spent christmas at there house here in Norway and got to hangout with them for a week. We got to go ice skating outside which probably would have been super fun except I'm still learning what it means to dress warm here. Apparently there's no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing choices. Unfortunately it's pretty easy to spot me because I was one of the only people there without a hat or gloves or proper scarf.. (I'm sorry mama I learned my lesson) So yes my feet froze off but then we went to the indoor swimming pool which wasn't just a hole in the ground with a roof. It was like this huge gorgeous new water park with pools for everything and even a spa and they got me a spa pass and it was heavenly after almost dying of self induced hypothermia. We got to play with Laila, Laken's baby, for the first time in the pool and she was absolutely precious. Then for dinner we had rice pudding and it's tradition to put one almond in the pot of porridge and whoever gets it in their bowl wins a marzipan pig if they can keep secret that they have the almond the whole meal. And I got the almond!!!! It was super cool. That was on Christmas eve's eve. Then on Christmas eve we had traditional Christmas food of Norway like Ribbe click on these words to see Traditional Norwegian Christmas Dinner and then we opened presents one at a time around 8pm that night. Then on Christmas morning we woke up late and just hangout and fixed traditional American Christmas dinner. It was so nice. 

Lately I've been a tad bit homesick. I think it's completely natural but nonetheless it's not a cup of tea. So thank goodness for good country music and southern tv shows. I hope you all are doing well and enjoying your new year.

xoxo- Matisse 

Ps. I leave in 8 days for my 2.5 month trip to southeast asia. I'm super stoked/nervous. It doesn't feel real yet but I guess that's how it goes. Yay for adventures. If you could go anywhere in the world to adventure what country would you pick? Please comment below:) I'd love to hear from you

Merry Christmas!!!

Hi

Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope y'all had a really great holiday. I did! Here are some pictures of how my past month or two has been!!!

I got to go ice skating for the first time and it was amazing!!!! I only fell once when I tried to look cool and turn around. 

The ice rink was in the winter Olympics at one point!

These are my friends Ingrid and Rikke. They're awesome.

This is a random cat.

The other saturday I went to my favorite coffee shop Larsen and wrote my journal and ate a macaron and drank a chai latte while it snowed. It was nice.

also I had a croissant 

Milk Cartons, Knit Socks, and Street Signs

Hello friends and family,

This week has been really good but also challenging. We're doing the  Course which is a course that basically redefines missions as you know it.. or at least that's what it's done for me. I've learned so much about different aspects of being a missionary that I'd never thought about and it's so exciting.    I'm learning things that my brain probably already knew but my heart needed to know it too

•  to be patient because Gods timing is always better than ours
• I'm responsible for saying yes to Him but not responsible for worrying about everything that's happening that I can't control while I'm waiting to be "out in the field" 
• also I should be happy and present where I am right now and know that when the time comes I'll be able to go. For now wherever I am in the present is my mission field. 
• to really focus and work on loving people unconditionally and seeing people that I live with. I think it's so easy to go through my daily life and not truly know the people I live with. I can know them on a basic level but most of the time it takes effort to know them on a deeper level. and right now I really want to work on that. Just to be able to see that someone close to me is struggling and walk with them. I think that sometimes we try to fight our battles by ourselves or just us and God and it can be so exhausting but when we let others into our lives then they can build us up and we can link up arms and fight forward together. Normally it's so easy for me to think that I wouldn't want to put them out of their way or that they probably are dealing  with some tuff things so why should I bother them with my troubles but I'm learning to be more open and real and in that I feel so much more freedom and love and the ability to love others and want to help them fight their battles. If that makes sense:) all of the above and everything else I write are still things I'm processing and figuring out more and more every day and some days I realize what I've been thinking isn't that accurate or something clicks and it's just lovely. Basically dear Mr. C.S. Lewis sums up my thoughts perfectly "I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand." 
• Also, I am beyond glad that I am here. I got really homesick on Wednesday especially while I was trying to fall asleep. Partly because I wanted to Skype my mom and I realized she was at work and then also because I have thought for the past month that Thanksgiving was on the 20th this year and I was thinking about my family having Thanksgiving the next morning. And me being me I decided to be super nostalgic and look up children's books I had when I was little and just meh it was no fun. So I started to just talk to God about it and tell Him how hard it is and just that I missed my family and friends so much. Also, I miss being known. I think it's human nature to desire to feel like someone knows them completely or at least understands them. So after living with people for 19 years and having such amazing friends that I see every day or often and coming to a completely new place I think after a while you just miss having someone that knows you. But it's kind of silly because everyone starts as strangers except for parents and friends that you grew up with so meeting new people and making friends is something that must happen. I think I've just missed the comfortableness of having someone love you unconditionally, not that no one here does but we're still all learning to love each other and how we work in this new environment together. I didn't realize how nice it is to have someone you can say "remember when" or quote movies to or laugh about inside jokes. Anyhow as I was praying I started thinking about Jesus and how He says He's been through things so He understands what we're going through. And then it kinda hit me. How did Jesus feel when He came to earth. He left the most perfect most comfortable beautiful place in the divine dance and came to earth. He wouldn't have been able to say to anyone around Him "hey remember that one time" or anything like that because all of His memories were from eternity and the disciples didn't even understand Him when He was speaking clearly about normal things so how would they have responded if He looked up and saw a rainbow and was like " hey I remember when I created that and Noah was so cool" Their human brains probably would have exploded or just ignored Him and not have understood. How would He have felt when He saw different people that He had created and they were hurting other people He'd made or when people were in so much pain. I feel so terrible for Professor-X in X-Men in the scene when he is able to feel all of the people's pain around the world but that's just a movie. I can't even  imagine how Jesus felt when He not only could see all of the pain but know that that wasn't the plan and that they could have had a better life. Talk about extreme culture shock. I also thought about His friends, how even though He had the disciples the majority of the time they had no idea what He was talking about and it took Him dying for them to understand partially what was going on. He was never able to have a deep conversation with anyone in the flesh. I love having deep conversations and isn't definitely not the same if it's over the phone. For His entire life He was never understood. His parents didn't understand Him, His friends didn't understand Him, and the people around Him didn't understand Him. He must have felt so alone. He prayed a lot and spent time with God but still I can't imagine the feeling of not being understood by anyone for your entire life. And then I thought. What love that must have been. What kind of love would be so extreme that someone would willingly allow themselves to live through a life of such isolation and then be killed by the people that you came for. His love for each of us is just unfathomable. That He would go through all of that even if it was just for one person. Mind blown. So after that I calmed down and realized that it's okay to miss my family and friends because they've played and still play such a huge role in my life and shaping me into who I am but I can be comforted in that I'm alone in missing people and be a comfort to others. Plus in all of this I think I've come to really appreciate my "old friends" and value getting to know my new friends. 
• I was washing dishes last night and while I was washing them I was thinking how glad I'm here at Grimerud. The atmosphere here is so different. Everyone feels like family. God is so good because the morning after I had gotten so homesick our base had it's annual "Home Days" where the entire base meets in the barn/fellowship hall and everyone that's out comes back to the base and we spend 2 days together in fellowship eating, talking, and listening to speaker or the base leaders talk about things we can do to make our base a better place to be and live and how to just be better family for each other. After being here for 2+ months I've gotten to know a lot of people and the ones I haven't gotten to know well I've at least seen around the base so the home days were like this huge family reunion with children playing everywhere and grownups talking and everyone just feeling safe and koselig. It was exactly what I needed. But anywho back to washing dishes.. So I was just standing there thinking how I'd rather be here washing dishes than anywhere in the world. I think it's that peace of knowing this is exactly where I need to be right now doing what I'm supposed to be doing that makes it easier when I feel homesick or anxious about where I'll be a year from now. I know that God's got me covered so far and that He'll definitely be able to handle whatever comes next.
• I also finished the book A Severe Mercy which was one of those books that I started and read so much but it was so deep I had to stop and process and then pick it back up again. I think it's on my top 5 favorite books. It was the kind of book I dreaded finishing because it's like losing an old friend and even though you can always read it over it won't ever be the "first" time again. 

That's all for now:) I'll post more later
love you all!! -matisse

Missions in Cities

We had Tim teaching us for half of this week. He talked about how to do missions in local and global context. It was so awesome. He spoke about all the different ideas that can be missions that are out of the box. He also talked about International Justice Mission, Because Justice Matters, 826 Valencia, and the Lava Mae project.

Some really great points He made 

• Contextualize yourself instead of syncretizing with the city or place you're in which basically means understand the culture, the history, and the beauty of the place you live in without molding yourself into the society. In the world not of it. Adapt and be amongst the people. Be like Daniel. "Contextualization:
  Attempts to communicate the gospel in word and deed and to establish the church in ways that make sense to people within their local cultural context, presenting Christianity in such a way that it meets people's deepest needs and penetrates their world view, thus allowing them to follow Christ an remain within their own culture."Darrel L. Whiteman
• Missions is not about what you want to do. It's about what God is doing. Because basically it's super easy to get caught up in the vision and idea of what you're doing but not realize why you're doing it or who you're doing it for.
• Don't come into a place and tell the people what they need but listen and be present and observe and see the people. See a need, fill a need.
• Don't shut yourself in your safe community but go out into the world or your neighborhood and be with people.
• "We don't invent our mission in life, we detect it. Because God's already placed it inside us we just have to peel back the layers and find it. We are blind to the fullness of our potential by either pride or unbelief."
• Train yourself to see the positives, not the negatives.
• Don't try to gain Gods love. Just receive His love.
• Make your own grass green before you try and get to the other side of the pasture. 
• Be present where God has placed you.
• Work where you live, live where you work in missions. Don't try to reach people if you aren't willing to live with them and be around them.
• There are such rich gifts in cultures 
• Don't adapt so far into the culture that you lose your Christianity